Bullying is an action that involves repeated harassment intended to cause physical or psychological harm. Nearly one in three school age children have been bullied. Boys tend to be targeted with physical harm. Girls are tormented with malicious rumors, sexual harassment and jeers. Many people think that bullies have poor self esteem. In reality many tend to be overconfident, popular and harassed at home. They may perform poorly at school. By age 24, 60% have been convicted of a crime. Studies have shown that victims have poor social skills and few friends. They may look and act different or have different abilities.
Parents must teach their children that they should not have to face bullying on their own. As an adult, you would not come to work and face an atmosphere that some children do. You can change this atmosphere and help your child and others. Remember it is easier to prevent than to heal a problem. Be your child’s advocate.
- Develop an open line of communication with your child. Encourage him/her to discuss their day in school.
- Speak with your child about teasing and harassment. Encourage your child to tell a teacher. Bullying should not be tolerated.
- Observe for signs of bullying; sleeping difficulties, unexplained crying, withdrawal from usual activities, clinging, sullenness, unexplained injuries or torn clothing.
- Take action: meet the teacher and principal. Ask for their solution and a time frame to resolve the problem. Write down their solution and repeat it back to them. Make sure you have all the same understanding of how the bullying is to be handled. If it is not handled properly speak to the school Superintendent and the Board of Education.
- Ask if your school has a program to combat bullying.
A. Bully Proof Your School by Garrity Etal. Blue Prints is a program from Norway through a grant from the US Dept. of Justice. This program advocates zero tolerance for bullying. RECESS is a program from Great Britain.
B. Many schools already use cooperative learning which involves group activities and dynamics.
C. Peer mediation is usually in Middle School and High School. The students and an adult from the faculty mediate to an acceptable solution for both parties.
D. Counseling can be an effective tool for both the victim and the bully. The counselor can assist in identifying and teaching the children involved to develop good coping skills and how to handle these negative, sometimes devastating situations.
E. You may want to involve the police if the above does not work.
Sometimes it is difficult to envision yourself becoming an activist for a specific cause. If your child is bullied, involve yourself and make a change. You will help your child and many others to have a comfortable, safe and happy school experience.
The following sources may increase your awareness in bullying:
- "The Bullying Prevention Handbook" by John H. Hoover and Ronald Oliver
- "Childhood Bullying and Teasing" by Dorothea M. Ross PhD
- "The Newest Breed of Bully, The Cyber Bully" - http://www.pta.org/pr_magazine_article_details_1117639656218.html
- Bullying - http://www.ncpc.org/Topics/Bullying/index.php
- Bullying - www.safeyouth.org/scripts/teens/bullying.asp
Reprinted from the NYS PTA Website
